Gay Merfolk Charms

Backstory: I made a bisexual, androgynous, arrogant yet also naive Merfolk prince, who summons a pirate captain Eidolon. Here's a few snippets from their adventures so far.

[23/11/2012 23:34:12] Jake Newton: "Ah, hmm... Barkeep! A bottle of your finest wine, if you please!"

You are not sure what gender the merfolk is. He... she... er, it's terrifyingly androgynous. The leather armor doesn't give any indication, and the long green hair doesn't help either.

"Yarr!"

You're pretty sure the pirate captain isn't human, though. It's the claws. And the bad body language. And the way he says "Yarr!" at everything.

---

[00:05:42 | Edited 00:05:47] Jake Newton: "Yarr!"

Morgan practically dashes forwards and begins scooping the gold into a bag. Tak-Sin doesn't look up.

"Excuse my eidolon. It has a mind of it's own. Remember the split, Morgan!"

"YAAARRRR"
[00:06:03] Jake Newton: Goddamn look at him go
[00:06:09] Jake Newton: loves that tresure he does

---

[00:19:35 | Edited 00:19:48] Saberwulf: "Please, take a seat. Feel feel to pour yourself a glass of whiskey from Fjellet, or take a cigar from Hermea.
[00:19:56] M_Sheep: Gadfly creakily lowers herself into a seat.
[00:20:47] Draco Starcloud: (Gotta make a note of it and buy tools.)
[00:20:53] The Bus: Niramour nods, pouring the whiskey for herself before sitting in the seat primly, hands onca again folded. For the moment she was content to let the others do most of the talking.
[00:21:57] Jake Newton: Tak-Sin delines both. Morgan takes the bottle. Asshole Eidolon.
[00:22:37] Jake Newton: This gets him a glare from Tak, and the Eidolon sadly returns the bottle.
[00:22:44] Jake Newton: "Yarr..."

---

[00:35:23 | Edited 00:35:34] Saberwulf: (Whoo knows! Them dark dragons) ""A noble goal. Til dine ambisjoner, kan du oppnå dem. Ah, I am glad you asked. I always seem to get caught up in conversation. Now, before I say my task, I must ask of you a promise."
[00:35:30] Jake Newton: Morgan looks uncomfortable in the rich surroundings. He's twitcher then a tengu in a jewellers.
[00:35:52] Jake Newton: "What kind of promise?"
[00:36:00] The Bus: "Oh?"
[00:36:21] Jake Newton: "Morgan, calm. Or I shall unsummon you."
[00:36:25] Jake Newton: Morgan quiets instantly.
[00:37:08] Draco Starcloud: "Another blood oath most likely. 'Never speak of this to anyone or I'll cut off your face.'"
[00:37:37] Jake Newton: "Oh, is that all? Merfolk preffered genital mutilation as a consquence for oath-breaking."
[00:37:51] Jake Newton: "The sharks usually come fast enough that they don't dwell on it for long."
[00:38:09] Jake Newton: The more elucidated of you may think "what an odious twat" at this point.
[00:38:45] The Bus: "The Ironclads follow a more simple order of cutting the tongue out, before removing the hands as well so the oathbreaker would bleed to death." Niramour says fondly.
[00:39:20 | Edited 00:39:55] M_Sheep: Unfortunately, Gadfly heard the word "Prince" fall out of his mouth earlier, and now all she can hear coming out of the merman's mouth is "money, money, money"

---

[01:04:35] Jake Newton: "I require a suit, if you please. Something to show off my physique~"

Morgan goes outside. Pirates hate suits.
[01:04:39] Saberwulf: He extends the offer to those also buying suits.
[01:04:56] The Bus: "....I am keeping my armor. Nevermind this." Niramour says in response, going outside with Morgan.
...
[01:05:14] Jake Newton: The eidolon desperately wishes Tak would cast unfetter, but it's not happening.
[01:05:27] Jake Newton: If there was a Guild of Eidolons, he'd complain.
[01:05:35] Jake Newton: "Yarr."
...
[01:05:55] The Bus: "Hail to you too."
[01:05:57] Draco Starcloud: (MANO A MANO.)
[01:06:19] Jake Newton: Morgan raises a hand in greeting. This is the point where you realise his hands are made of sharp coral.

"Yarr."
[01:06:32] Saberwulf: "One hundred gold for the suit, if you find it... Suiting! Haha!"
...
[01:07:14] Jake Newton: Tak-Sin gushes over his suit in Aqua, forking over the cash straight away. The suit doesn't stop this dude looking like a lady.
[01:07:27 | Edited 01:07:32] Jake Newton: "P̄hm mxng s̄eǹh̄̒!"
[01:07:46] The Bus: "Really, a suit? For what purpose? I would prefer to have anyone we encounter be intimidated by me rather than compliment my attire." Niremour says, watching the inside and glancing to the pirate.
[01:07:46] M_Sheep: Gadfly forks over the GP for her suit with a scowl.
[01:07:46] Godbot: Oratio hands over the gold and idly wonders if he makes that same joke every time.
[01:08:13 | Edited 01:09:10] Saberwulf: "You're quite welcome, everyone! I also have addiotnal options, say if you would like a hidden pocket or to dye your suit bright, disgustingly garish seafoam green."
[01:08:19] Jake Newton: Morgan struggles.

"...Oooohnleee theeee beeessst feeeerrr myyyyy maaaaastuuuuuuh."
[01:08:24 | Edited 01:08:45] Jake Newton: You wish he'd go back to yarrs.
[01:08:39] Jake Newton: That voice sounded like a swarm of bees being shoved through a meatgrinder.
[01:08:44] Saberwulf: Hahahaha
[01:08:48] The Bus: "...Master? Wait. That.... thing is male?"
[01:08:55] Jake Newton: "Yarr."
[01:09:11] The Bus: "Ah."
[01:09:19 | Edited 01:09:27] The Bus: "Do., er, all male merpeople look like that?"
[01:09:29] Jake Newton: "...Yeeeezzzzz."
[01:09:36] The Bus: "You poor, poor bastard."
[01:10:01] Jake Newton: "Yarr."

---

[02:04:10] Jake Newton: "...May I try my hand at talking to this man?"
[02:04:22] The Bus: "Indeed. Call if you need a hand broken."
[02:04:26] Godbot: "If you like, but he doesn't seem to know anything useful."
[02:04:26] Jake Newton: Morgan does that nose-bridge pinch thing.
[02:04:34] Draco Starcloud: "Troublesome. The scent FLIES away."
[02:04:36] The Bus: Niramour says this loud enough for the prisoner to hear before grinning at him.
[02:04:52 | Edited 02:05:07] M_Sheep: "I say have at i- it FLIES too?"
[02:04:56] M_Sheep: "How bothersome."
[02:05:25] Godbot: "The witnesses might've mentioned that it flew away."
[02:05:42] Draco Starcloud: "Indeed. My horse is an expert tracker and he cannot follow the scent; he just looks up into the air."
[02:05:57] The Bus: "Well, who would like to go interrogate witnesses? I do not think I would be the best choice."
[02:06:20] Godbot: "You seemed to be doing fine."
[02:06:22] Draco Starcloud: (THis is why Mr. Roboto needed a pterodactyl mount.)
[02:06:37] M_Sheep: Gadfly thinks a moment. "Let me see that flyer."
[02:06:48] Godbot: Oratio hands it over.
[02:06:50 | Edited 02:06:55] The Bus: "Of course, but I know the police will interfer if I begin snapping thumbs, and as it would be uncouth to slaughter them all....."
[02:07:04] The Bus: Niramour wistfully shrugs.
[02:07:32] Saberwulf: back
[02:07:38] Jake Newton: Tak-Sin walks over to the elf and -

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acQ6jLe3R8E)

jesus christ almighty is he - yeah, he is. He's being all innocent and eye-fluttery.

"Excuse me, sir? Do you know of anyone local who has knowledge about summoners? Any information you have would be most useful~"

(10+7=17 diplomacy)

Morgan looks like he wishes he was dead.
[02:07:58] Godbot: "Isn't /he/ a summoner?"
[02:08:04] Jake Newton: (shhhhh)
[02:08:09] Saberwulf: (Ahahaha holy fuck he's using his pretty gay charms on him)
[02:08:12] Jake Newton: (don't blow his cover)
[02:08:22] Jake Newton: (his incredibly pretty cover)
[02:08:37] Draco Starcloud: ( O_o )
[02:08:38] M_Sheep: (16 Knowledge history check on the store advertised on the flyer.)
[02:09:04] Godbot: (I could just roll knowledge local if you'd like)
[02:09:09] The Bus: "Yes, he is. As well as a host of other things."
[02:09:13] M_Sheep: (Feel free.)
[02:09:29] Godbot: (4+7)
[02:10:45] Saberwulf: The druid blushes. "I-i-i-... Why yes, I do. Actually, that flyer your friend shook from my pocket will help. The man who onws that store specializes in oddities. Floating rocks, talking swords, singinig books, giant magic holes in citites, magical travel and whatnot."

The druid gives all the info you need for this situtation, and ends up nothing more, anyway.
[02:11:15] M_Sheep: (The owner's totally David, isn't it?)
[02:11:18] Saberwulf: "It is over on Fleet Street, two two one. It has the head of a wulf on the sign."
[02:11:40] Saberwulf: (No! Why woudla place called Wolf Universal possibly be owned by David Arcturus Wulf?)
[02:11:47] Saberwulf: (That's just silly)
[02:11:55] Jake Newton: "Thank you~"

Tak-Sin turns and /struts/ back to the group. Unseen by the elf but visible to the rest of the party, the merfolk's face twists in disgust.

"Xarị khn n̂xy ǹā k̄hyak̄hæyng." (What a disgusting little man.)
[02:12:17] Jake Newton: Morgan sighs a piratey sigh.
[02:12:20] Jake Newton: "Yarrrr."
[02:12:36] M_Sheep: "Right. Now who wants the honor of carrying this bloody piece of wood?"